(OOC: Continued from Rise Above on old board.
Takes place after New Perspectives, Kowakian Delight, Where Good Dreams Go Bad, Brosin Affair, and Spacelanes Raid from August)
J't'p'tan (Doornik-628E)
Coordinates K-10
Arruna, try as she might was indeed still struggling with her heart and mind as a battle of dark and light ravaged her insides; as if she had just swallowed a glass of straight-up sulfuric acid by accident. Her insides burned like a million fires as the darkness she had erroneously embraced earlier in her life raged a full-scale attack on her soul and heart, determined to snuff out the light once and for all as she continued to rage her own personal war on slavers near and far, growing ever more frustrated with each encounter. Simply put, it seemed like this was a war Arruna could never win, no matter what, and that infuriated her beyond reason.
Consequently, her hatred was alive and strong as ever for anything slave related, not to mention just generally subjugation of populations throughout the galaxy, and though she might not consciously realize it, it was thrusting her dangerously close right back down the path she had been trying to escape, again.
Arruna desperately needed to simply escape all of the treachery to re-center and refocus herself before it was too late and most definitely before Darth Tormentous or any of his minions found her because there was no way she was strong enough to fight him off, or resist any attempts he might make to force her to committ herself wholly to the darkside, permanently and him once more, or face death. Arruna knew her sister Alana was probably the only thing keeping her from free-falling into the darkness forever right now, and that was a very scary thought. Gods let her sister never fall into the hands of that monster, Arruna pled and prayed daily. Or else, there was likely not going to be any redemption for the azure Twi'Lek, ever.
Truly, Arruna desperately wanted to veer off the dark path she had travelled for so long, but as expected, it was slow-going, and tumultuous, to say the least. Especially, considering she honestly felt like she was making the journey completely alone, with no support system whatsoever. Buggie didn't trust her at all in her opinion, but that was to be expected of a former Jedi. And many of her fellow BSP, were leery of her too, even to this day and in spite of proving her loyalty to them on more than just a few occasions.
Truthfully, she was longing to run into that Mandalorian she had helped back on Maridun somehow, and had even contemplated going to Jakelia to search him out, but the chance of that endeavor being successful was about one in a billion. Consequently, she nixed that idea, and instead, took an extended leave of absence, shortly after the successful raid she had partook in to get away from everything for right now, while she waited for the coordinates of this supposed force sensitive group Buggie suggested she approach and ask for training.
The question had been, where to? It had to be a sparsely populated place, Arruna reasoned, otherwise inevitably she'd end up in some horrible predicament, again. After all, everywhere she had gone with a large population, she inevitably ended up in a fight, battle, or confrontation with undesirables it seemed. But the ideal place also had to have an above average force connection, if Arruna was ever going to be able to find a balance between light and dark and improve her control and understanding of the Force.
She meditated on searching for an answer for several days it seemed before one came to her. Ironically, the answer came to her one evening in a cantina on Tatooine as she overheard a couple of fellow female Twi'Leks mention a place called Doornik-628E as a safe place to raise their children, far away from slavers and such.
Curious to learn more about the place, Arruna dug around the next couple of weeks to find more information about it. There wasn't a lot, but apparently at one time Doornik-628E had supposedly been the home for the Fallanassi, a force sensitive group of woman who supposedly helped protect a great temple built by the indigenous population on Doornik-628E a long time ago, and had an estimated population of maybe 15,000.
That was enough for Arruna. Perfect. Sparsely populated, and obviously had a decent connection to the Force if supposedly at one time a force sensitive group resided there.
And so as soon as she concluded her necessary BSP duties before her leave of absence started, and had maintenance and repairs completed on her ship, after the successful raid, she set a course for Doornik-628E. If she couldn't center herself here, then there probably was no hope for her regarding furthering her understanding of the Force, but at least she could be away from corruption and slavers if she remained, and perhaps find some semblance of happiness and/or peace knowing that likely the Sith would never find her or her sister.
It was time to work on her negligence regarding Force Training and control, and find that balance she longed for.
[Continued] Rise Above (Arruna Force Training & Char Dev)
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Arruna Lom
- Registered Member
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2017 3:38 am
-
Arruna Lom
- Registered Member
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2017 3:38 am
Re: [Continued] Rise Above (Arruna Force Training & Char Dev)
The trip from Tatooine to Doornik 628E seemed like it would never end. She silently prayed for some guidance as to what to do when she arrived, but no answers came. Fearing that she might lose herself to the darkness once more, Arruna had purposefully neglected her Force Training up until now, so much to the point that one might even say she had cut herself off from that connection that supposedly made her so special.
It had worked. She hadn't had an episode for several months now. However, deep down she knew running from it wasn't going to be a permanent fix. Running from difficulties never accomplished anything. That was one thing her life of hardship, and yes her time with the Sith had taught her. Running away never accomplished anything. If she had done that during her years as a slave, she would have never gotten her freedom.
The problem was, truthfully, Arruna was terrified of what might happen if she took this metaphorical bull by the horns and tried to face it. At least by purposefully seriously limiting her connection to the Force, she had managed to keep Control. But what would happen if she willingly opened up herself to the Force once more without someone there to steer her right?
That was what terrified her.
All the what-ifs...
One thing was for sure, she couldn't go on living like this, always in constant fear of what might happen.
It had worked. She hadn't had an episode for several months now. However, deep down she knew running from it wasn't going to be a permanent fix. Running from difficulties never accomplished anything. That was one thing her life of hardship, and yes her time with the Sith had taught her. Running away never accomplished anything. If she had done that during her years as a slave, she would have never gotten her freedom.
The problem was, truthfully, Arruna was terrified of what might happen if she took this metaphorical bull by the horns and tried to face it. At least by purposefully seriously limiting her connection to the Force, she had managed to keep Control. But what would happen if she willingly opened up herself to the Force once more without someone there to steer her right?
That was what terrified her.
All the what-ifs...
One thing was for sure, she couldn't go on living like this, always in constant fear of what might happen.
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Arruna Lom
- Registered Member
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2017 3:38 am
Re: [Continued] Rise Above (Arruna Force Training & Char Dev)
[OOC: Even though my Gen Rp thread hasn't quite reached this point, yet on Doornik 628E, I wanted to get my application in for dark to neutral alignment before the end of January, so going to go ahead and post this here, so I can get the app in. I'll copy it into my thread on the Gen Rp once, once I get there. Hope that is okay!]
The trek to the Temple Ruins of Doornik 628E had been without incident for the most part thus far. That was minus the couple of times Kira had lost traction on a particularly slippery hill and almost toppled backwards.
Thankfully Arruna and her guide, a local human male resident of maybe 35 by the name of Larek Emala had intervened in time courtesy of the rope both had been carrying just in case. The journey to the Ruins was not easy with its slick hills, raging streams, and rocky ground, but it was incredibly scenic and Arruna couldn't help but admire it.
But unfortunately that was short lived as the trio ventured further and further into the wilderness.
[Begin dark to neutral Force alignment application, here-1000 words]
The Force was reverberating with life incessantly as grasses, wildlife, trees, flowers, and the small resident population all breathed the same air, soaked in the same rays of the solitary, and simply coexisted in harmony. Along the way, as tranquil as the wilderness seemed, there were areas that remained to remind everyone and everything of the dark times--charred trees and plains, ruins of raided homes, and even dark places or dead zones where nothing was alive. Few and far between as these areas were, Arruna couldn't help but get chills through these areas as tortured ghosts seemed to remain as those long dead and forgotten cried out in pain and beckoned her towards them.
The darkness definitely was nearly overpowering in those areas, and to keep herself from getting lost in it, she fiddled with her locket along the way and focused on reminding herself of her younger sister, now free from the chains of slavery as she took long, deep breath. However, even so the siren call of power, strength, and influence tried to lure the azure Twi'Lek back into the darkness. Visions of Arruna sitting on a throne, with countless wealth ruling over others, but slavery eradicated over the kingdom she was ruling over danced across her mind as the darkness tried to wrap Arruna in its arms once more.
Come home, Lady Arruna. You seek belonging, and remember how you were treated, as a goddess and as royalty when you were with us," the familiar voice of the female Sith Naval Officer Arruna had grown fond of whilst under the tutelage of Lord Tormentous echoed in her mind incessantly as Arruna, Kira, and their guide traversed a particularly charred area of a once thriving forest. "Since you have left, look at how weak you have become! Come back before it's too late! You aren't going to reach your true potential unless you come back. And I know you don't want that....Come back to where you belong. Let the past die, or never reach your true potential."
As the voice continued, Arruna felt her blood pressure rise. Maybe the voice was right, being so worried about Alana was what kept her from reaching true power and potential. Remember how much power you gained when you acted on your anger and need for revenge and killed them, the darkened part of her heart cried out. She's holding you back! Why can't you see that?
More mental pictures of the slavers she had encountered washed across her body and soul, and how once she gained true unabated power she could destroy them all once and for all flashed in her mind over and over again. And that was when Arruna almost succumbed to it once more as her eyes flickered that putrid yellow color for a few moments as she lunged at Kira, who the dark side of the Force had disguised in her mind's eye as none other than her previous Master before having gone off to the Sith, followed by Arruna's sister, Alana.
[OOC-dark to neutral application paused here]
However, before she could do any serious damage, her guide Larek intervened by stunning the azure Twi'Lek before she realized what was going on, so befuddled by the darkness that her danger sense had not kicked in, yet causing the Twi'Lek to succumb to the stunning, making it safe for Kira and her guide to disarm her for the rest of the trip.
"I have seen this happen many times before, hence why I came prepared. The darkness permeates thickly and at its most in this part of the forest. It was here many of the massacres by the Yevtha took place. Everyone who I have sensed was fighting a raging storm within has succumbed to the darkness, albeit temporarily here. She will come back to her senses once we exit this portion of the Forest my droid friend, I assure you. Until then, however, she will need to be carried. This leg of the trip is only about a kilometer long," the guide commented to Kira as he beckoned the droid to pick her up.
And so the droid known as Kira did just that, pick up the unconscious and disarmed Twi'Lek as the trek through the wilderness continued. The last bit of the journey through the charred forest continued without any incident.
Once through the charred forest, the trio came upon a field full of bright, delicate flowers and a beautiful, sparking, flowing stream. As they crossed the field, the Ruins of the Temple glistened on the top of a cliff that overlooked the stream in the late afternoon sun.
"There's the Temple Ruins, just up on the smaller cliff in the east. We're almost there. Let's rest for a moment and fill up our canteens before we continue," the guide pointed up at the piles of smooth marble and rose rock sparkling in the light as he spoke.
By now the stunned Twi'Lek was coming around as her eyes blinked several times in the sunlight, now devoid of the putrid yellow that had plagued them, confused and with a splitting headache as she was lying on the ground on a particularly spongy bed of wildflowers.
"What happened?" the Twi'Lek muttered as she reached down to find her weapons, only to see they were no longer there.
"You had another one of your episodes, Miss Lom," Kira commented as Larek filled up the last of their canteens.
Arruna, terrified of what might have occurred during her episode, tugged tightly at her locket in nervousness, as tears began to flow.
"I didn't hurt anyone or anything did I Kira? Please tell me I didn't. Oh god please tell me I didn't," Arruna said sincerely.
"You lunged out at me Miss Lom and made numerous deadly threats, but Larek intervened in time before it escalated further. It was like he knew it was going to happen, long before it did. I'm okay."
Arruna cried almost uncontrollably at this point. "Oh Kira, I am so sorry. I would never purposefully strike you. You know that, right? Why? Why did it happen? I though I was doing well!" Arruna inquired in between sobs.
"It happened when we traversed the charred forest, an area where the darkness is at its peak here on J't'p'tan. The area where many of the Yevtha massacres took place so many years ago. It isn't the first time a Pilgrim such as yourself Miss Lom has succumbed to the darkness. Many have, especially those fighting a raging war within, but please don't be discouraged. You are not beyond saving, not by a long shot. I have faith that you will accomplish what you so desire, to find balance. That's why I agreed to help you. I once was lost in the darkness too," the guide replied reassuringly.
Arruna at this point was astonished. The Force was amazing. It had led her to someone who had gone through the same struggle as she has it seemed, and it gave her hope.
"You are Force Sensitive, too then aren't you Larek?," Arruna's curiosity got the better of her as she looked at the man before her,
"Because it seems like you are truly speaking from experience. Are you?"
The man simply smiled with a glint of mischief in his eyes as he capped the last of the canteens, and answered with one word as he motioned for Kira and Arruna to continue onward.
"Perhaps."
A couple more hours passed as the trio finally arrived at their destination, without any further incident. By now the sun was setting and the dark sky was littered with countless pinpricks of light throughout. A night creature cooed in the distance, and the wind picked up a bit, and clouds began to roll in from the south.
"Storm's coming," the guide said casually, "Best to call it a night, set up camp, etc. before it gets here. Miss Lom, Best you get some sleep, you have a long day ahead of you, tomorrow."
Arruna simply nodded. She had hoped to start tonight, but it just wasn't meant to be apparently. That was okay, Arruna supposed. Trust in the Force.
And so, the azure Twi'Lek warmed up a little food over the fire and then retired for the night.
Morning broke and in stark contrast to the howling wind and pounding rain over night, morning was sunny, bright, warm, and the air was filled with the happy sounds of songbirds as they foraged for their morning meal.
Arruna, however was a bit of a nervous wreck, horrified and humiliated at her regression the day before, fearful of what was to come. Even so, she ate a hearty breakfast. After all she would need all the energy she could muster for today.
"Relax, Miss Lom. You can do this. You may have done horrible things in the past, but you have a good soul. We will do this, together, " Larek reassured her as he tossed Arruna's rucksack to her, complete with her lightsaber inside.
"You're coming too? What if, if well you know," Arruna trailed off.
"I'm going to help you as much as I can. I assure you I will be fine, and you will succeed," Larek commented as he ventured toward the Temple Ruins, Arruna nervously following in toe until the duo arrived at the center of the Ruins, where the remnants of a fountain, which still flowed with crystal clear cold water.
"Cleanse yourself in it Miss Lom, in its purity, first, then we may continue. The old ones always believed in washing away your woes, purifying yourself first because it helped with clarity and focus. I shall follow," the guide instructed.
Arruna did as instructed, and as the cold water washed over her, it gave her chills, but at the same time she felt as if her woes and doubts were washed away for the moment.
The guide followed suit and the duo soon found themselves in what at one time the guide explained to be the main meditation room. Tall, ruined, doric style columns towered over a circular embankment that led into a sunken room built into the cliffside. Remnants of an old marble staircase led downward and before Arruna knew it, she was deep inside of the cliff. The room was dark, but there remained a few torches on all sides of the room that her guide had lit. Each one faced one of the respective cardinal directions of north, south, east, and west.
[OOC-resume dark to neutral app here]
Arruna used the Force at first to passively observe her surroundings by following each thread in her mind's eye that linked the torches, she noticed each one had a different design with pictorial representations of each direction it seemed. North had a snowflake like emblem it seemed, south had wavy like lines that Arruna assumed was the ancients' pictorial representation of the heat that often originated in the south, east a sun rising over what she thought represented the stream they had crossed to get here, and west the sun setting over a cliff with stars in the sky-perhaps symbolizing the arrival of nightfall since Doornik 628E did not have its own moon.
The vision was only a fleeting one, and soon Arruna lost it as the room darkened.
"Tell me what you see and hear, Miss Lom, using the Force as your eyes and ears," the guide said quietly as he put out the beacons of light emulating from the torches one by one.
Arruna struggled at first, seeing only the darkness that encompassed the room. It was very frustrating. The darkness was everywhere, so thick it caused a bit of labored breathing for the Twi'Lek. It was so dark, that not even a fleeting speck of light was seen by the Twi'Lek, not to mention the varied designs of each torch couldn't even be called forth by Arruna, even though she had seen them briefly only a few minutes before.
Even though she couldn't see anything, one thing she did feel was the dropping temperature of the room as each torch flame was snuffed out one-by-one by the guide. She tried to pull up the vision of the many threads she had grown accustomed to over the years, but even that failed.
"Nothing but darkness and cold," she sighed.
"Calm your mind, Miss Lom. Think of a soothing memory such as the reaction of that abused mooka you saved back in the village before starting your journey. Yes, I saw that from a distance. That was when I knew you had a good soul. Reach out with the Force. First focus on what is in this room, then expand it further and further. If seeing is more difficult, then try hearing first. One problem you have right now is you are relying on the past and what you have seen. You need to move from the past into the present and future. Not what has been, or what you have seen, but rather the now to start. Calm your inner turmoil with soothing thoughts of the past, yes, but discard all your preconceived notions, look and hear and feel for the new. Close your eyes to help if you must. Take deep breaths and relax," the guide said calmly.
Arruna closed her eyes and fiddled with her locket as she let the Force flow freely within her. She did not try to call up the multicolored threads she had been so accustomed to seeing, and instead thought of the grateful look of the look a as she freed it from the clasps of the mooka's cruel owner and took long, deep breaths.
As the Force was allowed to flow within the Twi'Lek's soul, she caught herself expecting to see the colorful threads, and refocused with the memory of the grateful lick the mooka gave Arruna. It redirected her attention from focusing on the old view to waiting for the new, since Arruna was no longer trying to make the Force bend to her will. However, as the Force flowed through her, the darkness within tried to block it with disbursements of reminders of the evils in the universe and how Arruna could change all of that if she insisted on bending the Force to her will, because doing so would grant her great power. As the darkness fought vehemently against allowing the Force to flow through unhindered, Arruna's mind became plagued with mournful cries of the many souls the Yevtha had massacred, and visions of the destruction of a once beautiful temple. It was extremely unnerving, and one thing all those souls insisted on was Arruna to destroy their murderers, even though in reality the Yevtha were long gone.
Arruna wanted to give into the pleas and act on her anger as more and more visions of the Yevtha killing, enslaving, and doing even worse things than that to innocents, but the words of Larek to focus on a soothing memory echoed in the back of her mind and brought her back from the threshold of madness, this time a memory of her sister Alana and her playing with dolls together as kids.
"I hear cries, cries of the murdered souls in this area, begging me to destroy their murderers after I gain power but, but I know they are long gone...
"Yes, that's right. Long gone, yes. Move from that past vision, and focus on something that displays hope in its purest form to you. Perhaps your sister or someone or something else that might have crossed your path."
Hope in its purest form? What could that be, Arruna thought inwardly before ideas came to her as the visions of pain and suffering continued to bombard her mind. The majority of the villagers on Doornik 628E with their simple life, no to broad. Wait, yes the two kids she saw playing ball in the street, free of worries. Yes, that was hope in its purest form to Arruna right now. Children, innocent children happily playing, laughing, giggling, enjoying life to the fullest without having to worry about slavery or being abducted.
And so, as the darkness continued to try and permanently claim Arruna as it's own, Arruna held onto that memory with a fierce determination she hadn't displayed in a long while as a catalyst to pushing the darkness aside. As she did so, Arruna was sure she felt a warm embrace slowly encompass her body. First her fingers, then it pushed forward down her arms, then down her legs. Yes, she felt coldness too, but instead of trying to actively fight against and impede the darkness, she instead encouraged the warmth to flow freely throughout her body, and ignored the cold, instead allowing the warmth to flourish and raise the Cold's temperature on its own, at its own pace. Slowly but surely, Arruna's body soon was encircled fully with the warmth's embrace, as if her mother was right there hugging her.
Then things became clearer in the darkened room, yes the cries of tortured souls were still there, but at the same time Arruna heard the whispers of prayers of pilgrims that had traversed this place before her. Prayers of gratitude, love, forgiveness, and hope. The whispers then turned to milky visions of pilgrims once filled with helplessness, loneliness, and vengeance, leaving this hallowed ground, fulfilled. Filled with hope, a sense of forgiveness, and more.
Those visions dissipated and Arruna, as she continued to let the Force flow through her, now no longer fiercely opposed by the coldness and darkness saw more. The threads were no longer in her mind's eye, but rather milky apparitions of things present in the room, Arruna had not seen before.
As the warmth continued to flow through her, Arruna used her understanding of alter to encourage the warmth to move outwardly, not just inwardly. That and when the coldness returned to certain parts in her body, she simply let it remain, but if she felt it trying to overpower her soul, again, she simply referred back to her vision of hope, the two kids playing happily, and the warmth prevented the darkness from encompassing her. Yes, the darkness tried to bring forth memories of her hatred for slavers, and those that hurt others, but the warmth always reminded her that, yes there were evils in the world, but there was good to.
First there was a decayed root just below her feet. Brown, coarse, and decaying as its brownish aura seemed to be getting dimmer and dimmer by the moment. Death.
Yet at the same time another milky green apparition appeared on the scene. A solitary sprout, underneath the eastern torch pushing its way through the rubble. Life. The decaying material would feed and nourish the new, and the life cycle would continue.
"I hear prayers, prayers of pilgrims' gratitude that came here before me, once filled with hopelessness, vengeance, and anger, leaving feeling fulfilled. I see the horrors of the past, but also visions of those today living simply, and with harmony in nature. They have moved on. Darkness, but hope. I see a decaying root below me, but also a new sprout by the eastern torch. Death, but also life. Without death, the sprout would not be nourished with the decaying matter, thus unable to thrive," the Twi'Lek replied after quite sometime once Larek had posed his initial inquiry.
[OOC: End Dark to Neutral Force Alignment App, here]
The guide nodded in approval as he listened before adding more.
"Yes, exactly one cannot exist without the other. But also be mindful that too much of one thing can be a bad thing. A plant with too much sunlight, will wither and die. But at the same time a plant in the absence of light will not be able to feed, so will die of starvation. If only the light side is allowed to flourish, people will become apathetic and complacent, as they have no need to fight for something they believe in. On the flipside, say darkness is allowed to flourish, people will lose hope, and become oppressed-after all without hope of something better, why fight for it . Plus they might think nothing is better than their current plight, and just simply give up on everything. I don't know about you, but I don't want to live like that," Larek chimed in.
"Now, that you firmly seem to understand this, and know what to do to keep balance, I want you to go back into that forest, and face your demons to achieve true balance."
Arruna cringed at the prospect of that but she knew it had to be done if she ever was to truly understand how to balance the light and the dark. This was going to be her true test, at least until she was forced to face the Sith.
The trek to the Temple Ruins of Doornik 628E had been without incident for the most part thus far. That was minus the couple of times Kira had lost traction on a particularly slippery hill and almost toppled backwards.
Thankfully Arruna and her guide, a local human male resident of maybe 35 by the name of Larek Emala had intervened in time courtesy of the rope both had been carrying just in case. The journey to the Ruins was not easy with its slick hills, raging streams, and rocky ground, but it was incredibly scenic and Arruna couldn't help but admire it.
But unfortunately that was short lived as the trio ventured further and further into the wilderness.
[Begin dark to neutral Force alignment application, here-1000 words]
The Force was reverberating with life incessantly as grasses, wildlife, trees, flowers, and the small resident population all breathed the same air, soaked in the same rays of the solitary, and simply coexisted in harmony. Along the way, as tranquil as the wilderness seemed, there were areas that remained to remind everyone and everything of the dark times--charred trees and plains, ruins of raided homes, and even dark places or dead zones where nothing was alive. Few and far between as these areas were, Arruna couldn't help but get chills through these areas as tortured ghosts seemed to remain as those long dead and forgotten cried out in pain and beckoned her towards them.
The darkness definitely was nearly overpowering in those areas, and to keep herself from getting lost in it, she fiddled with her locket along the way and focused on reminding herself of her younger sister, now free from the chains of slavery as she took long, deep breath. However, even so the siren call of power, strength, and influence tried to lure the azure Twi'Lek back into the darkness. Visions of Arruna sitting on a throne, with countless wealth ruling over others, but slavery eradicated over the kingdom she was ruling over danced across her mind as the darkness tried to wrap Arruna in its arms once more.
Come home, Lady Arruna. You seek belonging, and remember how you were treated, as a goddess and as royalty when you were with us," the familiar voice of the female Sith Naval Officer Arruna had grown fond of whilst under the tutelage of Lord Tormentous echoed in her mind incessantly as Arruna, Kira, and their guide traversed a particularly charred area of a once thriving forest. "Since you have left, look at how weak you have become! Come back before it's too late! You aren't going to reach your true potential unless you come back. And I know you don't want that....Come back to where you belong. Let the past die, or never reach your true potential."
As the voice continued, Arruna felt her blood pressure rise. Maybe the voice was right, being so worried about Alana was what kept her from reaching true power and potential. Remember how much power you gained when you acted on your anger and need for revenge and killed them, the darkened part of her heart cried out. She's holding you back! Why can't you see that?
More mental pictures of the slavers she had encountered washed across her body and soul, and how once she gained true unabated power she could destroy them all once and for all flashed in her mind over and over again. And that was when Arruna almost succumbed to it once more as her eyes flickered that putrid yellow color for a few moments as she lunged at Kira, who the dark side of the Force had disguised in her mind's eye as none other than her previous Master before having gone off to the Sith, followed by Arruna's sister, Alana.
[OOC-dark to neutral application paused here]
However, before she could do any serious damage, her guide Larek intervened by stunning the azure Twi'Lek before she realized what was going on, so befuddled by the darkness that her danger sense had not kicked in, yet causing the Twi'Lek to succumb to the stunning, making it safe for Kira and her guide to disarm her for the rest of the trip.
"I have seen this happen many times before, hence why I came prepared. The darkness permeates thickly and at its most in this part of the forest. It was here many of the massacres by the Yevtha took place. Everyone who I have sensed was fighting a raging storm within has succumbed to the darkness, albeit temporarily here. She will come back to her senses once we exit this portion of the Forest my droid friend, I assure you. Until then, however, she will need to be carried. This leg of the trip is only about a kilometer long," the guide commented to Kira as he beckoned the droid to pick her up.
And so the droid known as Kira did just that, pick up the unconscious and disarmed Twi'Lek as the trek through the wilderness continued. The last bit of the journey through the charred forest continued without any incident.
Once through the charred forest, the trio came upon a field full of bright, delicate flowers and a beautiful, sparking, flowing stream. As they crossed the field, the Ruins of the Temple glistened on the top of a cliff that overlooked the stream in the late afternoon sun.
"There's the Temple Ruins, just up on the smaller cliff in the east. We're almost there. Let's rest for a moment and fill up our canteens before we continue," the guide pointed up at the piles of smooth marble and rose rock sparkling in the light as he spoke.
By now the stunned Twi'Lek was coming around as her eyes blinked several times in the sunlight, now devoid of the putrid yellow that had plagued them, confused and with a splitting headache as she was lying on the ground on a particularly spongy bed of wildflowers.
"What happened?" the Twi'Lek muttered as she reached down to find her weapons, only to see they were no longer there.
"You had another one of your episodes, Miss Lom," Kira commented as Larek filled up the last of their canteens.
Arruna, terrified of what might have occurred during her episode, tugged tightly at her locket in nervousness, as tears began to flow.
"I didn't hurt anyone or anything did I Kira? Please tell me I didn't. Oh god please tell me I didn't," Arruna said sincerely.
"You lunged out at me Miss Lom and made numerous deadly threats, but Larek intervened in time before it escalated further. It was like he knew it was going to happen, long before it did. I'm okay."
Arruna cried almost uncontrollably at this point. "Oh Kira, I am so sorry. I would never purposefully strike you. You know that, right? Why? Why did it happen? I though I was doing well!" Arruna inquired in between sobs.
"It happened when we traversed the charred forest, an area where the darkness is at its peak here on J't'p'tan. The area where many of the Yevtha massacres took place so many years ago. It isn't the first time a Pilgrim such as yourself Miss Lom has succumbed to the darkness. Many have, especially those fighting a raging war within, but please don't be discouraged. You are not beyond saving, not by a long shot. I have faith that you will accomplish what you so desire, to find balance. That's why I agreed to help you. I once was lost in the darkness too," the guide replied reassuringly.
Arruna at this point was astonished. The Force was amazing. It had led her to someone who had gone through the same struggle as she has it seemed, and it gave her hope.
"You are Force Sensitive, too then aren't you Larek?," Arruna's curiosity got the better of her as she looked at the man before her,
"Because it seems like you are truly speaking from experience. Are you?"
The man simply smiled with a glint of mischief in his eyes as he capped the last of the canteens, and answered with one word as he motioned for Kira and Arruna to continue onward.
"Perhaps."
A couple more hours passed as the trio finally arrived at their destination, without any further incident. By now the sun was setting and the dark sky was littered with countless pinpricks of light throughout. A night creature cooed in the distance, and the wind picked up a bit, and clouds began to roll in from the south.
"Storm's coming," the guide said casually, "Best to call it a night, set up camp, etc. before it gets here. Miss Lom, Best you get some sleep, you have a long day ahead of you, tomorrow."
Arruna simply nodded. She had hoped to start tonight, but it just wasn't meant to be apparently. That was okay, Arruna supposed. Trust in the Force.
And so, the azure Twi'Lek warmed up a little food over the fire and then retired for the night.
Morning broke and in stark contrast to the howling wind and pounding rain over night, morning was sunny, bright, warm, and the air was filled with the happy sounds of songbirds as they foraged for their morning meal.
Arruna, however was a bit of a nervous wreck, horrified and humiliated at her regression the day before, fearful of what was to come. Even so, she ate a hearty breakfast. After all she would need all the energy she could muster for today.
"Relax, Miss Lom. You can do this. You may have done horrible things in the past, but you have a good soul. We will do this, together, " Larek reassured her as he tossed Arruna's rucksack to her, complete with her lightsaber inside.
"You're coming too? What if, if well you know," Arruna trailed off.
"I'm going to help you as much as I can. I assure you I will be fine, and you will succeed," Larek commented as he ventured toward the Temple Ruins, Arruna nervously following in toe until the duo arrived at the center of the Ruins, where the remnants of a fountain, which still flowed with crystal clear cold water.
"Cleanse yourself in it Miss Lom, in its purity, first, then we may continue. The old ones always believed in washing away your woes, purifying yourself first because it helped with clarity and focus. I shall follow," the guide instructed.
Arruna did as instructed, and as the cold water washed over her, it gave her chills, but at the same time she felt as if her woes and doubts were washed away for the moment.
The guide followed suit and the duo soon found themselves in what at one time the guide explained to be the main meditation room. Tall, ruined, doric style columns towered over a circular embankment that led into a sunken room built into the cliffside. Remnants of an old marble staircase led downward and before Arruna knew it, she was deep inside of the cliff. The room was dark, but there remained a few torches on all sides of the room that her guide had lit. Each one faced one of the respective cardinal directions of north, south, east, and west.
[OOC-resume dark to neutral app here]
Arruna used the Force at first to passively observe her surroundings by following each thread in her mind's eye that linked the torches, she noticed each one had a different design with pictorial representations of each direction it seemed. North had a snowflake like emblem it seemed, south had wavy like lines that Arruna assumed was the ancients' pictorial representation of the heat that often originated in the south, east a sun rising over what she thought represented the stream they had crossed to get here, and west the sun setting over a cliff with stars in the sky-perhaps symbolizing the arrival of nightfall since Doornik 628E did not have its own moon.
The vision was only a fleeting one, and soon Arruna lost it as the room darkened.
"Tell me what you see and hear, Miss Lom, using the Force as your eyes and ears," the guide said quietly as he put out the beacons of light emulating from the torches one by one.
Arruna struggled at first, seeing only the darkness that encompassed the room. It was very frustrating. The darkness was everywhere, so thick it caused a bit of labored breathing for the Twi'Lek. It was so dark, that not even a fleeting speck of light was seen by the Twi'Lek, not to mention the varied designs of each torch couldn't even be called forth by Arruna, even though she had seen them briefly only a few minutes before.
Even though she couldn't see anything, one thing she did feel was the dropping temperature of the room as each torch flame was snuffed out one-by-one by the guide. She tried to pull up the vision of the many threads she had grown accustomed to over the years, but even that failed.
"Nothing but darkness and cold," she sighed.
"Calm your mind, Miss Lom. Think of a soothing memory such as the reaction of that abused mooka you saved back in the village before starting your journey. Yes, I saw that from a distance. That was when I knew you had a good soul. Reach out with the Force. First focus on what is in this room, then expand it further and further. If seeing is more difficult, then try hearing first. One problem you have right now is you are relying on the past and what you have seen. You need to move from the past into the present and future. Not what has been, or what you have seen, but rather the now to start. Calm your inner turmoil with soothing thoughts of the past, yes, but discard all your preconceived notions, look and hear and feel for the new. Close your eyes to help if you must. Take deep breaths and relax," the guide said calmly.
Arruna closed her eyes and fiddled with her locket as she let the Force flow freely within her. She did not try to call up the multicolored threads she had been so accustomed to seeing, and instead thought of the grateful look of the look a as she freed it from the clasps of the mooka's cruel owner and took long, deep breaths.
As the Force was allowed to flow within the Twi'Lek's soul, she caught herself expecting to see the colorful threads, and refocused with the memory of the grateful lick the mooka gave Arruna. It redirected her attention from focusing on the old view to waiting for the new, since Arruna was no longer trying to make the Force bend to her will. However, as the Force flowed through her, the darkness within tried to block it with disbursements of reminders of the evils in the universe and how Arruna could change all of that if she insisted on bending the Force to her will, because doing so would grant her great power. As the darkness fought vehemently against allowing the Force to flow through unhindered, Arruna's mind became plagued with mournful cries of the many souls the Yevtha had massacred, and visions of the destruction of a once beautiful temple. It was extremely unnerving, and one thing all those souls insisted on was Arruna to destroy their murderers, even though in reality the Yevtha were long gone.
Arruna wanted to give into the pleas and act on her anger as more and more visions of the Yevtha killing, enslaving, and doing even worse things than that to innocents, but the words of Larek to focus on a soothing memory echoed in the back of her mind and brought her back from the threshold of madness, this time a memory of her sister Alana and her playing with dolls together as kids.
"I hear cries, cries of the murdered souls in this area, begging me to destroy their murderers after I gain power but, but I know they are long gone...
"Yes, that's right. Long gone, yes. Move from that past vision, and focus on something that displays hope in its purest form to you. Perhaps your sister or someone or something else that might have crossed your path."
Hope in its purest form? What could that be, Arruna thought inwardly before ideas came to her as the visions of pain and suffering continued to bombard her mind. The majority of the villagers on Doornik 628E with their simple life, no to broad. Wait, yes the two kids she saw playing ball in the street, free of worries. Yes, that was hope in its purest form to Arruna right now. Children, innocent children happily playing, laughing, giggling, enjoying life to the fullest without having to worry about slavery or being abducted.
And so, as the darkness continued to try and permanently claim Arruna as it's own, Arruna held onto that memory with a fierce determination she hadn't displayed in a long while as a catalyst to pushing the darkness aside. As she did so, Arruna was sure she felt a warm embrace slowly encompass her body. First her fingers, then it pushed forward down her arms, then down her legs. Yes, she felt coldness too, but instead of trying to actively fight against and impede the darkness, she instead encouraged the warmth to flow freely throughout her body, and ignored the cold, instead allowing the warmth to flourish and raise the Cold's temperature on its own, at its own pace. Slowly but surely, Arruna's body soon was encircled fully with the warmth's embrace, as if her mother was right there hugging her.
Then things became clearer in the darkened room, yes the cries of tortured souls were still there, but at the same time Arruna heard the whispers of prayers of pilgrims that had traversed this place before her. Prayers of gratitude, love, forgiveness, and hope. The whispers then turned to milky visions of pilgrims once filled with helplessness, loneliness, and vengeance, leaving this hallowed ground, fulfilled. Filled with hope, a sense of forgiveness, and more.
Those visions dissipated and Arruna, as she continued to let the Force flow through her, now no longer fiercely opposed by the coldness and darkness saw more. The threads were no longer in her mind's eye, but rather milky apparitions of things present in the room, Arruna had not seen before.
As the warmth continued to flow through her, Arruna used her understanding of alter to encourage the warmth to move outwardly, not just inwardly. That and when the coldness returned to certain parts in her body, she simply let it remain, but if she felt it trying to overpower her soul, again, she simply referred back to her vision of hope, the two kids playing happily, and the warmth prevented the darkness from encompassing her. Yes, the darkness tried to bring forth memories of her hatred for slavers, and those that hurt others, but the warmth always reminded her that, yes there were evils in the world, but there was good to.
First there was a decayed root just below her feet. Brown, coarse, and decaying as its brownish aura seemed to be getting dimmer and dimmer by the moment. Death.
Yet at the same time another milky green apparition appeared on the scene. A solitary sprout, underneath the eastern torch pushing its way through the rubble. Life. The decaying material would feed and nourish the new, and the life cycle would continue.
"I hear prayers, prayers of pilgrims' gratitude that came here before me, once filled with hopelessness, vengeance, and anger, leaving feeling fulfilled. I see the horrors of the past, but also visions of those today living simply, and with harmony in nature. They have moved on. Darkness, but hope. I see a decaying root below me, but also a new sprout by the eastern torch. Death, but also life. Without death, the sprout would not be nourished with the decaying matter, thus unable to thrive," the Twi'Lek replied after quite sometime once Larek had posed his initial inquiry.
[OOC: End Dark to Neutral Force Alignment App, here]
The guide nodded in approval as he listened before adding more.
"Yes, exactly one cannot exist without the other. But also be mindful that too much of one thing can be a bad thing. A plant with too much sunlight, will wither and die. But at the same time a plant in the absence of light will not be able to feed, so will die of starvation. If only the light side is allowed to flourish, people will become apathetic and complacent, as they have no need to fight for something they believe in. On the flipside, say darkness is allowed to flourish, people will lose hope, and become oppressed-after all without hope of something better, why fight for it . Plus they might think nothing is better than their current plight, and just simply give up on everything. I don't know about you, but I don't want to live like that," Larek chimed in.
"Now, that you firmly seem to understand this, and know what to do to keep balance, I want you to go back into that forest, and face your demons to achieve true balance."
Arruna cringed at the prospect of that but she knew it had to be done if she ever was to truly understand how to balance the light and the dark. This was going to be her true test, at least until she was forced to face the Sith.