GA Election

[Zechs Merquise]

Another came. The orange creature looked like a Duro, but there was a chance it wasn’t one. So the holonet left that part subtly blank. Then it started.

“You my remember me as the “Just Say No to Deathsticks” clown or those fun “get your butts checked out” commercials. I’m here to tell you the Alliance can go to hell. What good has it gone? When was the last time we had some good news? It’s always somebody killed somebody or some pirate robbed a liquor store. We don’t have no time for none of that nonsense.

I want to be Chief of State, so I can burn this entire backwards yellow bellied organization down from the top. I promise to always wear too much perfume and bring ample matches. It won’t be easy, but with your help, we can start over after we clean this dump out by fire. Who knows? We might even find some spare change.

Now, I’m sure your saying, ‘This guy sounds nuts. Is this all a joke to him?’ No, it’s not. The joke was ever thinking idiots like you would actually get up and vote. That’s why we always have idiots in office. How about for once you get up and vote for an idiot who just wants to see it all burn? Vote for me. Vote for the giant meteor I’ll be.”

He turned away from the projector and then back. “And don’t forget to get your but checked. It’s a crazy galaxy. No telling what’s crawled up it.”

The primaries were crazy, but he did have a point. There was no telling what had crawled up into this election. There was a slight problem with his candidaticy though. He forgot to mention his name.